The funny thing that happened was when I went to buy a 6 pack of Bud Select. I was waiting in this hellacious line at 7-11. In the service world, gas stations and fast food might the lowest totem pole of the service industry. While in this long line, I get to observe the service worker in their natural habitat!
One guy is off of his shift at Taco Bell. From what I can tell, he must stop by the 7-11 to flirt with his cousins of the service industry. He said, "I need to wind down after 12 hours at Taco Bell."
The 7-11 girl goes "when did you move? I thought you worked at KFC?”"
Taco Bell Man, "Taco Bell offered me a lot more money. A LOT more money."
7-11 girl goes, "take it, man, take it."
As I was walking out with my 6 pack of Bud Select, I notice the only car left in the parking lot is a tiny white roller-skate, I mean Ford Fiesta. I was thinking that he must be at the top of the food chain because he has one of the most economical paid for cars in the whole Taco Bell parking lot! J
I hope he is saving his money from his new job at Taco Bell and doesn't blow it on the 7-11 girls!
Showing posts with label beer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label beer. Show all posts
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Oktoberfest '07
Since it is close to Oktoberfest time, I felt it was the *right time* to remember this incident...
Last year, I was invited to go to Oktoberfest with my friends in Tulsa. I ran into people I hadn’t seen in a 100 years or so. I was pumped because I was drinking beer, doing the chicken dance, and enjoying a cool evening with my friends.
When one drinks, beer especially, you have to pee. I left my friend Daniel at the tables to go in search of the port potties. I spot a super short line and needing to pee, I don’t care. I hover anyway, so, anything on the toilet, is irrelevelant. I don’t like to drag anything out on my boots but you know….sometimes that happens.
ANYWAY, it is my turn. Yes, the shortest line does work! :)
So, I run up to the unpleasant porta pottie. As I am exiting, this woman goes “Way to cut off a pregnant woman.” I look around and see no pregnant woman. After a few pitchers of beer with Daniel, I decide I need to ask her what she is talking about. I approach this woman who doesn’t come up to my shoulder. I go “Are you talking to me?” Thinking she must be an idiot to talk shit to me.
She says “you cut off a pregnant woman”
I say “why would a pregnant woman BE at the Oktoberfest? It was my turn” and I turn to walk away.
This woman shouts out “Well, at least I am married.”
Thinking to myself, I wonder what is *relevant* about being married to the porta potties. I walk up to this woman and point to the man next to her, “Is this your husband? “
She nods her head “Yes”.
I say, “Well, you couldn’t pay me to fuck your husband.”
The crowd surrounding us goes “ooohhhh” as I walk away.
FUCK that married bitch and her superior attitude about being married. Why did it matter that she was married and I wasn’t...one of life’s questions to ponder...
At least I got the last word for the 1st time in my life!
Last year, I was invited to go to Oktoberfest with my friends in Tulsa. I ran into people I hadn’t seen in a 100 years or so. I was pumped because I was drinking beer, doing the chicken dance, and enjoying a cool evening with my friends.
When one drinks, beer especially, you have to pee. I left my friend Daniel at the tables to go in search of the port potties. I spot a super short line and needing to pee, I don’t care. I hover anyway, so, anything on the toilet, is irrelevelant. I don’t like to drag anything out on my boots but you know….sometimes that happens.
ANYWAY, it is my turn. Yes, the shortest line does work! :)
So, I run up to the unpleasant porta pottie. As I am exiting, this woman goes “Way to cut off a pregnant woman.” I look around and see no pregnant woman. After a few pitchers of beer with Daniel, I decide I need to ask her what she is talking about. I approach this woman who doesn’t come up to my shoulder. I go “Are you talking to me?” Thinking she must be an idiot to talk shit to me.
She says “you cut off a pregnant woman”
I say “why would a pregnant woman BE at the Oktoberfest? It was my turn” and I turn to walk away.
This woman shouts out “Well, at least I am married.”
Thinking to myself, I wonder what is *relevant* about being married to the porta potties. I walk up to this woman and point to the man next to her, “Is this your husband? “
She nods her head “Yes”.
I say, “Well, you couldn’t pay me to fuck your husband.”
The crowd surrounding us goes “ooohhhh” as I walk away.
FUCK that married bitch and her superior attitude about being married. Why did it matter that she was married and I wasn’t...one of life’s questions to ponder...
At least I got the last word for the 1st time in my life!
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
The Pool Party
My friends bought a new house with a pool. I thought it was exciting and I was excited when they asked me over to swim. I love to swim in a home pool because I worked at a public pool and saw how gross people can be. They said “come over for some cards and swimming”. So, loaded up my 12 pack of Miller Lite, suit and some towels and headed over to their house.
I knew there would be another couple there to play cards and it would be an overall good time. They were making Jell-O Shots? Who can resist?
We started out playing a few rounds of Asshole and have a few shots. I really want to swim so we all head out to the pool. We take our drinks with us.
As we are swimming, all of us run out of drinks. The boys take turns refilling. The owners were concerned about everyone jumping out of the pool to pee. Next think I know, no one is swimming any longer but all of the couples have paired off. Now, I am alone, the water is getting colder and very aware of the vicious pairing off. So, might as well some water aerobics and stretch out. I swim toward the stairs and I am trying to decide if I should go home or not. All of the couples had retired to the jets around the pool.
I get to stairs and I notice a non alcoholic bottle. After closer examination, I see it is an industrial size bottle of lube. OMG! WTF is that….and why is it on the edge of the pool? One of the guys from the couples swims up and says “Can we have the stairs?”
“yes. It is too cold to stay in the water…” I got up, went inside, put on my cover up and left without saying goodbye.
So, the when I saw them again, the guy who asked for the stairs told me that it was a *test* to see what I would do. It was a test I was happy to fail. Then, he proceeded to tell me that if he had met me first, we would be married. I felt sorrier for my friend for being married to him and thinking that I would not want to be married to him! I knew he was trying to seduce me to become a 5th in their foursome!
I knew there would be another couple there to play cards and it would be an overall good time. They were making Jell-O Shots? Who can resist?
We started out playing a few rounds of Asshole and have a few shots. I really want to swim so we all head out to the pool. We take our drinks with us.
As we are swimming, all of us run out of drinks. The boys take turns refilling. The owners were concerned about everyone jumping out of the pool to pee. Next think I know, no one is swimming any longer but all of the couples have paired off. Now, I am alone, the water is getting colder and very aware of the vicious pairing off. So, might as well some water aerobics and stretch out. I swim toward the stairs and I am trying to decide if I should go home or not. All of the couples had retired to the jets around the pool.
I get to stairs and I notice a non alcoholic bottle. After closer examination, I see it is an industrial size bottle of lube. OMG! WTF is that….and why is it on the edge of the pool? One of the guys from the couples swims up and says “Can we have the stairs?”
“yes. It is too cold to stay in the water…” I got up, went inside, put on my cover up and left without saying goodbye.
So, the when I saw them again, the guy who asked for the stairs told me that it was a *test* to see what I would do. It was a test I was happy to fail. Then, he proceeded to tell me that if he had met me first, we would be married. I felt sorrier for my friend for being married to him and thinking that I would not want to be married to him! I knew he was trying to seduce me to become a 5th in their foursome!
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