whew...

Since I was 17, I have always disliked my hometown cops since one tried to grope me while I was working (another story).
This week has been particularly stressful with my father's illness, moving him, etc. so I THOUGHT I would blow off a little steam and head out with my Ponca Friends. They said this band was THE SHIT when they came to Ponca and their local hangout would be PACKED. So, I decided to stay an extra night in town to hangout and have a cocktail or two. I usually don't allow myself to get to too shit faced and I try to keep my beers to under 5 however, tonight was an exception. I had 4 Miller Lites and 4 shots. My shots were 2 test tubs things, 2 Nigerian Nightmares and one Blow Job. Granted, I only bought 1 shot but I am a pretty good size girl and can usually handle my liquor….except for tequila (clothes just fall off), so I figure I am good enough to drive home. So, we leave the bar at 1:20ish. NONE of my friends have gum. S,MF, F, S.
I think…well, Burger King is only a mile away, so I could grab a burger and drive on to my dad's house. Almost, just as good as gum.
I look in my rear view mirror as I am heading down the street and I see an F-ing Hometown Cops. MF, I think to myself. Then, I look on my speedometer and see my 09 sticker for my tag. MF. So, I really need to turn into Burger King. So, I make a right hand turn into Burger King. The cop keeps going down the parking lot towards another store and I calm myself in the BK drive through. THANK GOD it isn't 2:15 and all of the drunks aren't inline! I make my order and I continue to the parking lot. I am still looking through my car for gum. All I see is some sample tooth paste from my cousin from my dental visit a few days ago. So, I rub that on my teeth and tongue for extra precautions! When I pull away from the drive through, I think…well, I guess it is time for the middle of the night picnic in the BK parking lot. I eat my tacos (an impulse buy) and when I finish, I ran to the back of my car and placed the 09 sticker on the car so there wouldn't be the slightest inkling to pull me over.
I looked around the parking lot for the pig in clothes and didn't see any….so, I proceeded on my way to my dad's house.
I made it home without incident…well, except I had a hard time parking….but that is the least of my worries!
Thank goodness for Angels (My Mom, Annie, Lyn, Aunt Anna, Aunt Vera, Uncle Edward) watching over me and keeping the f-ing Pigs away. I am going to Sam's ASAP to pick up a case of gum…just for my car! J
PS-the Burger King tacos are quite tasty and hit the spot! Woo-Woo! Shout out to the Burger King! LOL! They aren't Cotton Candy's magic Chinese food…but, who can compete with MAGIC Chinese food? LOL!