Thursday, October 30, 2008

Too Sexy for my Cat…

So what makes a girl Sexy? Obviously beauty is in the eye of the beholder so if the only thing that gets your freak on is big feet or people three feet tall or shorter, well, then that narrows things down for you. But for the vast majority of us who don’t limit our freak, there is so much beauty in the world.

Lots of studies say that facial symmetry makes a person beautiful. And for whatever reason lots of people prefer blonds and curly hair. And of course other studies say that men prefer big boobs, clear skin and a certain hip to waist ration. (Was the Barbie Doll really made for little girls?) But I’ve notice that in a first impression none of these things come to my mind. I find, on first impressions, it’s the way she carries herself. How does she hold her chest? And it does matter the size of her tatas, if they’re big and she’s pushing them out, it’s annoying, but if they’re petite, she can get away with that. Does she have a badonka-donk? And what is she doing with it? Hiding it or squishing it into pants that are two sizes too tight? There is nothing more striking then to see a woman who’s clothes fit, who knows she looks good, who carries herself well, who commands the space around her. And I’ve seen and admired these women in ever size, shape, color and nationality. I want to be that woman! She is so sexy, so hot! I bow down to her!!!

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Obama's closing arguments

One week.


After decades of broken politics in Washington, eight years of
failed policies from George Bush, and twenty-one months of a campaign that has
taken us from the rocky coast of Maine to the sunshine of California, we are one
week away from change in America.


In one week, you can turn the page on
policies that have put the greed and irresponsibility of Wall Street before the
hard work and sacrifice of folks on Main Street.


In one week, you can choose
policies that invest in our middle-class, create new jobs, and grow this economy
from the bottom-up so that everyone has a chance to succeed; from the CEO to the
secretary and the janitor; from the factory owner to the men and women who work
on its floor.


In one week, you can put an end to the politics that would
divide a nation just to win an election; that tries to pit region against
region, city against town, Republican against Democrat; that asks us to fear at
a time when we need hope.


In one week, at this defining moment in history,
you can give this country the change we need.


We began this journey in the depths of winter nearly two years ago, on the steps of the Old State Capitol in Springfield, Illinois. Back then, we didn't have much money or many endorsements. We weren't given much of a chance by the polls or the
pundits, and we knew how steep our climb would be.
But I also knew this. I knew that the size of our challenges had outgrown the smallness of our politics. I believed that Democrats and Republicans and Americans of every political stripe were hungry for new ideas, new leadership, and a new kind
of politics – one that favors common sense over ideology; one that focuses on
those values and ideals we hold in common as Americans.

Most of all, I believed in your ability to make change happen. I knew that the American people were a decent, generous people who are willing to work hard and sacrifice for future generations. And I was convinced that when we come together,
our voices are more powerful than the most entrenched lobbyists, or the most
vicious political attacks, or the full force of a status quo in Washington that
wants to keep things just the way they are.

full transcript

Motherhood Blahs

So the economy sucks. I think we’re all aware of this. And even though gas prices have fallen suspiciously low (considering there is a presidential election next week), I’m hurting. Even working two jobs, I’m having trouble providing for the family.

They need clothes and jackets and shoes, and hoodies. Hoodies are very important. Lora Mae gave me a nice, new hoodie sweater, so I’m good on the hoodie front. I like it because it is smaller than the other one so it’s a lot closer to fitting, plus it’s a blue that is really close to the blue of my eyes. See, hoodies are very distracting and necessary items.

I would like to buy myself some new clothes and jackets and shoes, but I don’t see that in my future. Most of my clothes don’t fit. Most of my clothes are given to me by other people. Today, the only thing I’m wearing that I bought are my shoes (and my underthings. No one gives me those.)

I feel like I look like typical mom in tattered sweaters, tennis shoes and jeans that bag around the ass. So not attractive. I want to cut off my hair again. I had a dream that I was cutting it myself and it was very satisfying, but I was having the thought that I probably shouldn’t do that before Cotton Candy’s wedding.

I guess this post has kind of veered from the original focus, but it is clear in my mind; a lot of women I know, especially mothers, are suffering from the downturn in the economy. It may seem superficial, but there is a lot of sacrifice to taking care of other people, and even though people always tell mothers that they have to take care of themselves too, most of us will forgo what they want (and sometimes what they need) in order to take care of our babies.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Freeze Frame

As I was falling asleep last night, I was remembering one of my happiest memories of adulthood. It was like a moment frozen in time, and if I were a better artist, I would be compelled to draw it.

We were in a small dorm room, with the compulsory cinderblock walls and linoleum tile floor. There was little decoration in the room, a mattress on the floor; and a student’s desk and chair. The effect is institutional, as I suppose is the intent. I was sitting in the desk chair, long blonde hair down and a little messy, with my legs stretched out in front of me, crossed at the ankle and resting on the mattress. I was wearing sheer black panties and a black button-up blouse, only buttoned once over my breasts, for false modesty’s sake. I felt positively feline as I smoked a cigarette, my attention focused on the people at my feet.

They sat on the bed, fuzzy from lack of sleep, a night of hard drinking, and really great sex. But in that moment, as sleepy as they were, their attention was entirely focused on me. She watched me with her big brown eyes with a mixture of lust and admiration. She looked coquettish in these kinds of moments; she emanated a teasing, playful kind of heat. She said I was incredibly sexy. She directed this statement to her bedmate, who grinned in response. He has always looked at me in that way; a look that seems to suggest that I’m amusing him at the same time that I’m arousing him. I liked that look. He was relaxed, and he seemed surrounded by sensual energy.

I sat there smoking, inviting the looks, inviting their desire, enjoying being loved by both of them. All these years later, I find myself wondering—why didn’t I climb back into bed?

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Somebody's Got a Case of the Tuesdays

Recently, thoughts of running away have been strong, thinking about being on a beach somewhere feeling the sun on my face, or in some remote cottage in Ireland living a simple life instead of at a noisy gas station in the Midwest, surrounded by people who I can’t seem to relate to while ambulances and police cars scream past.

I’d like to leave; skip leaving the time zone, and have one of those time jumps like in Star Trek when the holodeck malfunctions and they are stuck in some Film Noir detective story. I want to exist in a science fiction reality where everything is new and different, and they have whole planets devoted to pleasure instead of a world where pleasure is most often difficult to come by, and tempered by pain.

I want to live in a fantasy world, where I am the Chosen One, and despite my deceptively simple nature, am destined to save the world. I want to struggle to complete impossible things and see impossible things happen around me; I want to develop enduring bonds to other people as we complete Herculean tasks, instead of being isolated in a cubicle to make money for some old guys with lots of money to begin with.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Bacheloretteing

So as the bachelorette in the party you get to do all kinds of fun things like be spanked by strangers and have them find tiny pieces of paper on your person. You also have strangers buy you shots, it is quite a bit of fun. I had 2 couples buy me a shot and wish me well, a few gentleman and one rather biter Betsy. I think my favorite shot was from the biter Betsy, she was such a good sport! And then of course you have all of your fabulous girlfriends around you WooHooing all night. Somehow that never gets old.

I still say, just randomly on a night, a girl should dress up in Bachelorette garb and head out with a bunch of friends. Really, who would know if you’re not getting married?

But watch out, the shots just get easier and easier to drink, and even with Chasers, my hang over was pretty awesome the next day.

Monday, October 13, 2008

I'll take the rapists for $500, Alex

Time for another pop culture graphic novel/comic/manga update. This time, I went for some American fare, League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. I saw the movie, thought it was pretty cool, and didn’t understand why the fans of the comic would not like it. After reading volumes I and II, I’ve discovered the problem: not enough rape.

These are the anti-heroes, a collection of drug addicts, killers, rapists, and terrorists and one very mysterious lady. Mina locates and organizes the group, but her place among them is unclear. Until, of course, she is almost raped. And when they talk about her past rape. Then when she has sex with a man about sixty years her senior. Finally, when she actually gets violently raped by the invisible man, it all comes together.

After finishing the two volumes, I finally realized why I was unsettled. For one, it appears that Mina’s character exists to either be raped or fucked, and victimized by the evil Chinese/aliens/vampires/whatever. Also, it becomes clear viewing the series from a distance that every female that is represented in the book is either a whore, or has been/is in the process of/or will be raped. There’s the whorish headmistress of the school for wayward girls, who is barely dressed and decorates the place like a whorehouse; the schoolgirls themselves who are cast as eager participants in their rape by the “holy spirit” (which turns out to be the head rapist, The Invisible Man). The headmistress’ assistant apparently tutors the students in basic S&M, providing a little female-on-female rape. I think that is the sum total of the women in the two volumes, as Mina picks up the slack in the rape scenarios to come.

As it stands at the end of volume two, it appears that Mina is the perfect victim and a complete characterization based on male wish-fulfillment: busty, gorgeous, intelligent, proper, highly sexed, available to even crusty old men, and a victim of the highest degree. By the way, revenge is served on The Invisible Man, as he suffers a horrible and bloody rape by Jekyll to defend Mina’s honor. Aww, isn’t that sweet? I feel like I need a shower

Harrison Bergeron

Our society seems to be striving to reach perfect equality. Schools, in particular, seem to think that by removing all actions that might lead to a child’s experience of negative emotions is the best option. I don’t know exactly where this theory comes from; it seems absurd to think that a child’s school years can be completely free of jealousy, rejection, anger, and I’m sure a million other things.

Even if this were to be achieved, (through some miracle) at some point these children would become adults, and no longer sheltered by the school system. They would be thrust into a world filled with a range of emotions, and no idea how to react to negative emotion. It seems that it would be more useful to teach children how to deal with negative emotion instead of pretending it doesn’t exist.

As a child, if I had been fitted with handicaps like Harrison Bergeron, I would have never had the opportunity to develop into the person that I am. The idea is quite horrifying: headphones playing loud sounds so that I can’t think better than others, a mask to hide what might be above average looks, weights around my neck to keep me from outperforming others athletically. Expecting everyone to be the same is foolish and potentially dangerous. Sometimes, though, I think of this story and wish that loud sounds would interrupt the incessant thinking.

http://instruct.westvalley.edu/lafave/hb.html

Sunday, October 12, 2008

whew...

Since I was 17, I have always disliked my hometown cops since one tried to grope me while I was working (another story).
This week has been particularly stressful with my father's illness, moving him, etc. so I THOUGHT I would blow off a little steam and head out with my Ponca Friends. They said this band was THE SHIT when they came to Ponca and their local hangout would be PACKED. So, I decided to stay an extra night in town to hangout and have a cocktail or two. I usually don't allow myself to get to too shit faced and I try to keep my beers to under 5 however, tonight was an exception. I had 4 Miller Lites and 4 shots. My shots were 2 test tubs things, 2 Nigerian Nightmares and one Blow Job. Granted, I only bought 1 shot but I am a pretty good size girl and can usually handle my liquor….except for tequila (clothes just fall off), so I figure I am good enough to drive home. So, we leave the bar at 1:20ish. NONE of my friends have gum. S,MF, F, S.
I think…well, Burger King is only a mile away, so I could grab a burger and drive on to my dad's house. Almost, just as good as gum.
I look in my rear view mirror as I am heading down the street and I see an F-ing Hometown Cops. MF, I think to myself. Then, I look on my speedometer and see my 09 sticker for my tag. MF. So, I really need to turn into Burger King. So, I make a right hand turn into Burger King. The cop keeps going down the parking lot towards another store and I calm myself in the BK drive through. THANK GOD it isn't 2:15 and all of the drunks aren't inline! I make my order and I continue to the parking lot. I am still looking through my car for gum. All I see is some sample tooth paste from my cousin from my dental visit a few days ago. So, I rub that on my teeth and tongue for extra precautions! When I pull away from the drive through, I think…well, I guess it is time for the middle of the night picnic in the BK parking lot. I eat my tacos (an impulse buy) and when I finish, I ran to the back of my car and placed the 09 sticker on the car so there wouldn't be the slightest inkling to pull me over.
I looked around the parking lot for the pig in clothes and didn't see any….so, I proceeded on my way to my dad's house.
I made it home without incident…well, except I had a hard time parking….but that is the least of my worries!
Thank goodness for Angels (My Mom, Annie, Lyn, Aunt Anna, Aunt Vera, Uncle Edward) watching over me and keeping the f-ing Pigs away. I am going to Sam's ASAP to pick up a case of gum…just for my car! J
PS-the Burger King tacos are quite tasty and hit the spot! Woo-Woo! Shout out to the Burger King! LOL! They aren't Cotton Candy's magic Chinese food…but, who can compete with MAGIC Chinese food? LOL!

Ha Ha Ha

Friday, October 10, 2008

no father figure, please...

If you are over 40, please don’t apply. Yes, I thank you for the complements and I am glad you think I am so cute and funny but I really am not interested. Hey, I think it is great that you are 51 and you want to try to woo this 31 year old woman and have the self esteem to do it...however, I am not looking for a father figure (I have a dad) nor would I like to care for you during the prime of my life when you are drawing social security (again, I take care of my dad)...but, not going to happen. You are old enough to be my dad...not into that...at all nor having step children around my age...
I know it is probably crazy to limit my dating age to under 40 but I can’t help it. Call me crazy, but I need to be with someone who matured around the same time I did and isn’t an overgrown child. If you know about things I did during High School in your 50s, you are an overgrown child.
I wish you the best of luck on your pursuits. I am not going to be one of them.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

VPILF

VPILF

After receiving a text from Lora Mae last week expressing her desire to kick over a Palin sign, I thought about my reactions to the woman. Seeing her on TV, seeing her picture, and especially hearing her voice raises a seemingly irrational rage in me. I thought that was weird. I haven’t had that kind of reaction since my reaction to W in the last election. For a small scale social experiment, I asked a man of my acquaintance with very similar political views if seeing/hearing Palin made him angry. He said no. I know one man doesn’t make a truth, but it seemed to be a telling thing to me.

I guess it is because she’s attractive to the men, or somewhat attractive to them anyway. Men have the strangest ideas about women being attractive. I’ve read men say that Palin is attractive in a in-the-dark, as-long-as-she-doesn’t-speak, squint-your-eyes, from-behind-her-ass-looks-good-enough way. There are those that find the whole package appealing, but I haven’t heard so much of that. To my brain, these qualifiers would seem to lead one to the conclusion that the object of said qualifiers is, in fact, unattractive. But I guess that’s one of the things that separate women from men.

I finally pinpointed the source of my own rage by relating it back to an episode of Futurama. I relate entirely too many real-life situations back to Futurama; I guess it is a testament to the genius of the show, or conversely to my mental state. Remember the episode where Leela became the first female Major League Blurnsball player? She was a pitcher that was discovered because she has no depth perception, and just keeps beaning people in the head. She became a parody of what could have been a major milestone for women. A very talented college female player expresses to Leela how disappointed she is that Leela is giving female players a bad name. Her argument is that by allowing herself to be exploited, she belittles the other women.

This is what Palin is doing. By being the worst qualified vice presidential candidate in recent history, she is prolonging the day that a woman will be vice president, even president. Her use of sexuality to succeed, her consistent use of emotional appeals, her smearing Obama, and her cattiness confirms all the negative stereotypes that have convinced the voting majority that women are unfit to serve in these important positions. No one takes her seriously. We’ve moved from having a strong, capable female candidate for president to a complete mockery of a political figure that allows the public to continue under the impression that strong women are bad and unnatural, and what you can allow is an Eskimo Barbie to go with your White House playset.

Not as focused as I had planned. . .

Perhaps I don’t understand the ways of Karma. Wasn’t it Earl (of My Name is Earl, not Squidbillies) that said, “Karma is a bitch?” I really like that show. For one, Jason Lee is a great comic actor, but for another, who is not attracted to the idea that if you live your life right you are rewarded. Hell, Eastern religion or Western religion, the idea remains constant. Treat others as you would like to be treated, give and received tenfold, turn the other cheek, the meek inherit the earth.

As a representative of the meek, I have to say I’m not getting anything but a hard time. I’ve tried to practice the basic “do unto others” rules: I’ve been poor my whole life, but I’ve given to others; I have needs that aren’t met, but I put others’ needs before mine; I have not received love, but I’ve given love; I have been neglected, but I’ve sacrificed a great deal to take care of others. Despite continually striving to be a better person, and to be fair and to be giving, I’m in a position where I’m in therapy once a week, on two antidepressants, and once again close to being fired at a job I hate. It doesn’t seem like karmic justice to me.

Do I need to make a list? I know there are people I have wronged. I know I’m not perfect. Maybe I’ve wreaked karmic havoc on myself. I keep thinking of a song in Mel Brooks’ musical The Producers that Nathan Lane sings called “The King of Broadway.” It is very much inspired by Fiddler on the Roof, and describes how life used to be great and now it sucks, and he sings,

“He was saying, when you're down and out, and
everybody thinks you're
finished,
that's the time to stand up on your two feet and shout,/"Who do you
have to fuck to get a break in this town?!"
Truly, who do you have to fuck to get a break in this town.

Karmageddon

Perhaps I don’t understand the ways of Karma. Wasn’t it Earl (of My Name is Earl, not Squidbillies) that said, “Karma is a bitch?” I really like that show. For one, Jason Lee is a great comic actor, but for another, who is not attracted to the idea that if you live your life right you are rewarded. Hell, Eastern religion or Western religion, the idea remains constant. Treat others as you would like to be treated, give and received tenfold, turn the other cheek, the meek inherit the earth.

As a representative of the meek, I have to say I’m not getting anything but a hard time. I’ve tried to practice the basic “do unto others” rules: I’ve been poor my whole life, but I’ve given to others; I have needs that aren’t met, but I put others’ needs before mine; I have not received love, but I’ve given love; I have been neglected, but I’ve sacrificed a great deal to take care of others. Despite continually striving to be a better person, and to be fair and to be giving, I’m in a position where I’m in therapy once a week, on two antidepressants, and once again close to being fired at a job I hate. It doesn’t seem like karmic justice to me.

Do I need to make a list? I know there are people I have wronged. I know I’m not perfect. Maybe I’ve wreaked karmic havoc on myself. I keep thinking of a song in Mel Brooks’ musical The Producers that Nathan Lane sings called “The King of Broadway.” It is very much inspired by Fiddler on the Roof, and describes how life used to be great and now it sucks, and he sings,
“He was saying, when you're down and out, and
everybody thinks you're
finished,
that's the time to stand up on your two feet and shout,/"Who do you
have to fuck to get a break in this town?!"
Truly, who do you have to fuck to get a break in this town.

Fun!

http://pa.lindro.me/

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Dear BL Letter

Dear Biggest Loser,
Please, re-figure in your wardrobe...there is no need to see bellies...men or women...there are plenty of shirts/sports bras that cover bellies...it isn't inspirational, it is just gross.
I don’t to look at my belly and I sure as hell don't want see one on TV!
Thanks!
A Viewer!
After examining my own life, I realized that I am plagued with emotional affairs with men. I am usually attracted to men I can't have or to men who are legally unavailable or unavailable because the love men or racially (because, sadly, between my redneck sister and my dad, no one would find the bodies).
Anyway, my good friend I worked with...we worked together for many years and we shared a lot of dislike for our work as well as the need for security that our employment provided. In order to live vicarasiouly through his wife, I would often volunteer to babysit when they needed a night out. I never really cared for his wife but I remained friendly with her because of him. She was never my typical friend and we both knew this...I even told her one time "you were lucky to find him, not many guys out there like him" when I really meant, "you were lucky to catch anyone, especially him..."
So, when she drove him into the nut house because she thought somehow she could do better than him and it sent him into an emotional tailspin, who did reach out to? Me. As soon as I realized that there was no way in hell I wanted to be saddled to emotional wreck with 4 kids, I told him so. It was the end to my first emotional affair with a married man...
My next emotional affair would have to be with my G@Y. My gay replaced any need for a man I might have...he didn't come out until I had known him for 10 years. In the bottom of my heart, I knew he was gay but I dreamed of him not being gay so I didn’t have to look for a man. In the end, people still thought we were married and he became my gay husband. I would still marry him tomorrow if he needed health insurance or I needed to leave someone money tax free. When we had a fight once, and didn’t speak for 10 months, it felt like I went through a divorce. I was depressed and heartbroken over this...and then he moved. I felt like we broke up all over again. I still have an emotional attachment to him because my friendship for all of these years.
My newest emotional affair is with my friend’s husband. I only knew who he *was* in high school and I know in never spoke to him...not once in high school. I had known his wife since we were 12. At the reunion, I went alone, so latched on to them. We became friendly and he introduced me to the *ungettable* guy from Jr.High. It was exciting to be friends with them because they were happily married and were a lot of fun to party with...then, the inevitable happened. The husband asked me if I wanted to join in their foursome and become a 5th...not a 5th of whiskey…a 5th party in their foursome with another couple! I wonder when they pick up my bar tab or my dinner, if I am on a date? hum...

Avant Garde?





Courtesy The Slog: My newest obession.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

7-11 and the Ford Fiesta...

The funny thing that happened was when I went to buy a 6 pack of Bud Select. I was waiting in this hellacious line at 7-11. In the service world, gas stations and fast food might the lowest totem pole of the service industry. While in this long line, I get to observe the service worker in their natural habitat!
One guy is off of his shift at Taco Bell. From what I can tell, he must stop by the 7-11 to flirt with his cousins of the service industry. He said, "I need to wind down after 12 hours at Taco Bell."
The 7-11 girl goes "when did you move? I thought you worked at KFC?”"
Taco Bell Man, "Taco Bell offered me a lot more money. A LOT more money."
7-11 girl goes, "take it, man, take it."
As I was walking out with my 6 pack of Bud Select, I notice the only car left in the parking lot is a tiny white roller-skate, I mean Ford Fiesta. I was thinking that he must be at the top of the food chain because he has one of the most economical paid for cars in the whole Taco Bell parking lot! J
I hope he is saving his money from his new job at Taco Bell and doesn't blow it on the 7-11 girls!

Oktoberfest '07

Since it is close to Oktoberfest time, I felt it was the *right time* to remember this incident...
Last year, I was invited to go to Oktoberfest with my friends in Tulsa. I ran into people I hadn’t seen in a 100 years or so. I was pumped because I was drinking beer, doing the chicken dance, and enjoying a cool evening with my friends.
When one drinks, beer especially, you have to pee. I left my friend Daniel at the tables to go in search of the port potties. I spot a super short line and needing to pee, I don’t care. I hover anyway, so, anything on the toilet, is irrelevelant. I don’t like to drag anything out on my boots but you know….sometimes that happens.
ANYWAY, it is my turn. Yes, the shortest line does work! :)
So, I run up to the unpleasant porta pottie. As I am exiting, this woman goes “Way to cut off a pregnant woman.” I look around and see no pregnant woman. After a few pitchers of beer with Daniel, I decide I need to ask her what she is talking about. I approach this woman who doesn’t come up to my shoulder. I go “Are you talking to me?” Thinking she must be an idiot to talk shit to me.
She says “you cut off a pregnant woman”
I say “why would a pregnant woman BE at the Oktoberfest? It was my turn” and I turn to walk away.
This woman shouts out “Well, at least I am married.”
Thinking to myself, I wonder what is *relevant* about being married to the porta potties. I walk up to this woman and point to the man next to her, “Is this your husband? “
She nods her head “Yes”.
I say, “Well, you couldn’t pay me to fuck your husband.”
The crowd surrounding us goes “ooohhhh” as I walk away.
FUCK that married bitch and her superior attitude about being married. Why did it matter that she was married and I wasn’t...one of life’s questions to ponder...

At least I got the last word for the 1st time in my life!

My boring race story that I'm excited about

Let me preface this: i love to run, but my stamina's crappy because I don't eat. If I can get in 1000 calories a day, I'm doing great. So all week, in preparation for this race, I've been eating every meal, rounded meals, and testing out a new energy supplement. Also, due to shin splints, my training's been half-assed over the last few weeks. In fact, I haven't run much over the summer.

This morning my friends showed up at my house and we went to do the Race for the Cure. We couldn't find our team members, so I couldn't get my number or timing chip. My excitement about the race was matched by my disappointment in not being able to compete. I was actually on the verge of tears (yes, I'm a BIG BABY, but like I've said before....if I didn't run, I'd certainly be an alcoholic). I live for races.

After the gun went off, I was still hanging around the cheering section with my spectator friends. They began pushing me to go run despite my lack of a number or anything. I mean, hey....I paid for the race! I hesitated for a couple of minutes, then took the bait.

I got in behind about three trillion walkers and slowly worked my way up to the joggers, then worked my way up to the runners. I was slow and steady (by my standard), but passed several runners. When I saw a camera up ahead I looked at the number of the person next to me so I could still look at my picture online (2055). I finished the race without breaking much of a sweat. The easiest 5K I've ever run...it was like taking a walk. I guess I should've gone for speed, but at this point all i wanted was to finish without stopping. Yay, calorie intake and nutritional fore-thought!!!!!

When I got close to the finish line, I heard my friends yelling my name and cheering...I've never had anyone waiting for me at the finish line, so it made me so happy to see them! After I finished, I was still a little irritated that I didn't have a timing chip (even though I had the best run ever as far as stamina goes). My friend Jennifer came to meet me and said I was "booking it," that her friend who finished about a minute before me, finished at 34 minutes, and she started up front with the runners. That meant I was at 35 minutes, then....but I'd started late. So not only did I finish, but looks like I made good time. I'm very pleased. I accomplished something that I've never accomplished before. And it was so easy......!

Friday, October 3, 2008

Hustle and Flow Chart

700 Gazillion dollars later. . .

They passed the thing. I'm pretty sure we're living through the end times. The combination of this bill and Sarah Palin has pushed me over the edge--from caring desperately to WTF. Seriously.

The debate was crazy, Palin recited talking points and was folksy and blah, blah, blah. I couldn't stand her. (By the way Republicans, get that woman a vocal coach pronto)

For them to pass this bill now, after they already voted it down is crazy. The only way they could pass a hugely controversial and high cost bill is to add more controversial and expensive tax earmarks.

If the Republicans win this year, I don't know if I can deal with that. People everywhere will have to form support groups to deal with it. Coffee and lemon bars and tears and support; that's what it will take if I have to live through another four years of Republican mistakes.

On the bright side, McCain stopped campaigning in Michigan; apparently he lost all hope for winning that state. Not just stopped some campaigning, the man stopped everything. That is a good sign.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

SWF iso Contentment within Uncertainty

My boyfriend broke up with me. It's the first break up of my thirties, and the first time I didn't do the breaking up. I'm depressed, but feeling kind of positive. I know this is one of many in a long string of relationship failures, but my psychologist assured me that sure...I've got my issues like anyone else, but i manage them well enough to function in a healthy relationship. She told me to stop dating artists and musicians. Fortunately I have lots of different interests other than art and music.

Sometimes I feel negative, thinking of how past trends might indicate an entire future brimming with disappointments, lonely nights, third-wheelies, breakups, and heartbreaks. But sometimes I feel positive...that there's a great guy out there somewhere for me and I'm going to find him. I don't want to wait forever for it, but you know...I'd like to think it's going to happen someday.

Meanwhile I'm going to try to get over the "grieving process" over losing this last guy (he's a really good guy...he just wasn't ready for a relationship). And meanwhile I'm going to focus on being happy and content, learning to calm my terrible anxieties about dating, let life happen, and enjoy it. You know...stop worrying myself to emotional pieces about relationships.

Meanwhile, I'm going to try to decide what color of tile I want to put in the fireplace.

Oh Lord Won’t you Buy me….

And if you’re Wall Street Fat Cat, don’t worry, Lord will buy you a Mercedes Benz, and a portfolio package, a 3rd home in the Hamptons, and a golden parachute for when you’ve run your company into the ground. And where does Lord get this money? Why from his loyal subjects the tax payers of course. Silly little peons. They are not worthy of cloud Olympus. They merely toil in the dirt and owe us everything.

Whatever! I’m so sick of this Republican attitude that they’re better then everyone.

How about instead of this trickle down crap which hasn’t worked once, not since Regan’s brain team dreamed it up, why don’t we try some trickle up economics?

For example, lets take a random number, say $700 billion? We could giver all 300 million Americans $2,333.33. Or we could give everyone who pays taxes (16 and above and only contributing tax payers) about $3,500 each. Or we could have a lotto and 700,000 lucky Americans (with the stipulations that their HHI be less than $250,000 per year and only 1 winner per house hold) could win $1million each. I would be happy with any and all of these trickle up rescue packages.

I am NOT for any package that rewards criminal behavior, that takes away the consequences of risk, or subjects innocent people to be responsible for the mistakes of others.

I can’t believe President Bush is asking us to trust him with $700 billion? Seriously? For what? To buy WMDs? Oh no wait that was the last debacle.

And I’m sorry but who is Henry Paulson? Show of hands for anyone who has heard of him before last week? Bueler, Bueler? Right, and we should trust him why? His credentials are what? Like the first FEMA guy? Does he come from Arabian Horse something? Just checking.

And just another thought to ponder, show of hands who knew someone affected by Katrina? Ike? Floods earlier this summer? Yep, me too, I know someone for all those natural disasters. Ok, now show of hands who knows someone who can’t get a car/mortgage/student loan now? Bueler, Bueler? Yeah, that’s what I thought. And again for anyone who knows anyone who is losing their job if this free money to rich people bill doesn’t get passed? Anyone? Bueler, Bueler? Uh huh. Just as I suspected. Ok, so the plan is to spend $700billion on what affecting who and we only spent how much combined on natural disaster? Mmm…hmmm.. I’m just saying.