Nicknames...on my mind

This may not be of any kind of intellectual topic but it is on my mine...

I understand why people get them. Shortening names to Jen, Tim, or initials makes it easier for kids to spell and say. But what drives me is when people go by their middle names. Why don’t you just go by what you are named? Do you hate your first name so much that you don’t go by it? Why did your parents name you something you don’t go by? Who the hell started calling you by your middle name?

My cousin goes by C. Ed on documents. When he was born, my aunt asked my husband what he wanted to name his son. He said, “I don’t care what you name him, but I am going to call him Eddy." So, what did his my aunt do? Named him Charles Edward so on all of his official documents, he is C. Ed.

It is the dumbest thing I have ever heard of in my life and I have to be related to them...

I work with 2 people like that…I work with Susan but her real first name is Barbara and John whose real first name is William…so all of their official documents are under. *Susan* has the nerve to get mad when slip up and call her Barbara. Sigh…please, people, just name them what you are going to call them.

Books..

You know books that change your viewpoint of everyday life? Well, "The
Reader" by Bernard Schlink did just that...

It was reminiscent to me of "Angela's Ashes"...they way I actually felt
hungry while reading it because people were starving.

I initially picked it up at the library book sale on Friday night for
.50 cents in the non-collection, overpriced area of the Annual Library
book sale of book seekers, body to body, like Mardi Gras on Bourbon
Street in New Orleans. I picked it up last night before I went to bed
and finished it during my lunch hour to day. It was just that powerful
and unlike any book I have ever read. A very fast read, like "Angela's
Ashes". I see it a book that will be required reading in the years to
come. It was an Oprah book club pick...I am usually disappointed in her
selections and pleasantly surprised she picked something like this.

I only wanted to read it so I could compare Kate Winslet's character in
her Oscar Winning Role and extremely satisfied that I did. I cannot
wait to see the movie tonight and pray they did the book justice!

It was worth every penny of the .50 cents I paid for it.

Gin and Generic Juice

Must blog more. I know. It’s getting pretty bad.

So today, on NPR, I heard a story about the packaging of Tropicana. They explained that the usual packaging of the orange juice features an orange with a straw in it, and they had changed it to have a glass of juice that wrapped around the side of the carton.

They are changing the package back next month due to customer complaints. According to the report, customers complained it made the package look “generic.” This brings to mind a couple of points.

One, what’s the problem if it looks generic? You know what you’re going after, and once you locate the new generic-looking package, you put it in the cart. I’m imagining a bunch of blue hairs in designer track suits suffering from mortification that another blue hair in a designer track suit say her buying GENERIC JUICE. What a travesty.

Two, who actually calls and writes these manufacturers to complain about stuff like this. If I see that the packaging for a product has changed, I just think “different” and move on. I don’t spend hours in the grocery store developing a critical analysis of this packaging as compared to the previous packaging. I do not have a deep, spiritual bond with the packaging for my products. There are not enough hours in the day already without spending time analyzing juice boxes.

If Valentines Day Cards told the Truth

I got this from my friend....who was recently jilted by his fiance.

If Valentine's Day Cards Told The Truth
By CRACKED Readers

Men and women tell each other that honesty is the most important part of a relationship, which is itself a lie. Men want their wife to tell them she's never been with a lover who rocked her world quite so violently. Women want their husband to tell them ... whatever the hell it is women want to hear.

We asked you to use our article from a few years back as inspiration, and show us what Valentine's Day Cards would look like if they were actually honest.

Mame's House

Chutah took me to a small town hippie artist commune last week. She takes me to the best places. It was very interesting; a group of artists living together and sharing a house. Then they vote someone off. Just kidding. They saw a lack in their community, and decided to bridge the gap by hosting a get-together every week.

Their description of the night’s upcoming events reminded me of the zaniness of Auntie Mame. They do art related stuff when they get together, but usually nothing structured. If someone wants to play music they do so (and I think they had enough guitars to cover everyone if it was a sing-a-long), or they might paint, or do a craft, or even cook if the mood takes them. Mame would have fit in well. They were incredibly gracious and welcoming people, sharing their work with us, and inviting us to participate in everything from the projects to the drinking and making of quesadillas.

I didn’t feel my usual nervousness with them; I was there for business, so business mode was on. But there were actors there. Talking to them was like getting to speak your native language in a foreign country. Oddly, not many women talked to me. I don’t know what that means.

Everyone was excited about one guy coming to the gathering, and it seemed everyone made a point to tell us about him and how they didn’t think he could make it. He did make it. This may not seem especially crucial, but the thing was, when he came in the door, I could tell why he was so important to the group. After talking to him for about 30 seconds, I felt a connection. I wanted to talk to him more. It was so strange. I can’t remember the last time I was that interested in someone upon the first meeting. He wasn’t really remarkable in any way, but somehow, he was the most interesting person there.

We were invited back, and with our new project, we’re probably going to be spending some time with them over the next few months. I think I need to go back for art night at the hippie commune; I need to speak my native language.

This Kid: Totally Not Being Forced Into the Child Pageant Circuit

You have to go to the link to see the whole thing with pictures....excruciating, hilarious. My stomach actually lurched at the part about the "DIY fake tan."

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On last night's episode of Toddlers & Tiaras, we got to learn the difference between "glitz" and "natural," and were once again assured that pageant kids participate because they want to.

This particular pageant was "conservative," and more about "natural" girls than "glitz" girls. There was still a swimwear portion, and an evening gown portion. The only real difference seemed to be the absence of false eyelashes. The episode focused on three contestants:

Kayleigh, 6


Story, 5


And Marleigh, 2


Kayleigh is a "natural" pageant girl, and she doesn't wear any makeup. She has two moms.

She kept referring to her as "our" kid. Case in point, "Because we didn't do pageants, I didn't think any of our kids would."

Story is a pro. She was born for this, since that's the only explanation as to why her mother gave her such a name. She's "glitz," and she knows what she's doing, even though she admits that she doesn't "like smiling too much." She's won tons of crowns, sashes and trophies, the latter of which she plays with like they're Barbies. This scene showed her in the act, saying, "Hey sister, do you wanna have some cookies?"

Story's older brother is involved in her training, and scores her rehearsals in his poetically titled, "Story Report."

Unlike his attitude toward correct spelling, he takes these sessions very seriously. "She looked like she was actually real mad. That's what I wrote down on 'beauty.' And she was looking at the board. I know that. She was looking at the board."

Marleigh is a different story. (Ha, "story.")

Her mother, though eternally optimistic, is in complete denial about her daughter's enthusiasm for this.

Still, she puts a lot of effort into her 2-year-old's success, and even gives her DIY fake tans.

She also involves the family pet in her torture methods primping, in a desperate attempt to normalize the process for Marleigh. Like, "See, don't you want to be pretty like a dog, Marleigh?"

This method of conditioning is flawed, though, as it appears that Marleigh doesn't just want to look like a glitz dog, she wants to behave like one, too.

Her mom kept saying things during Marleigh's perpetual tantrum like, "She really turns it on when she gets on the stage." Which just seemed ridiculous as the child was sobbing as her name was being called.

But it turns out her mom was totally right. The minute she stepped into the light she started laughing and charming the crowd.

Story, on the other hand, moves like an android who was programmed to swing her arms while walking just like humans do.

I think they sell her in Japan.

If you get two, you can make them have some cookies.

So the main thing here was Glitz vs. Natural. There were no specific rules for the pageant, so there were examples of both. As ethically superior as Kayleigh's two moms felt they were by not putting makeup on their daughter, they still strong-armed her into wearing uncomfortable, expensive gowns like any other Glitz family, despite her protests.

See, moms, this is what you get when you raise your 6-year-old to trade in makeup for sensible shoes. She starts valuing function and thinking for herself, attitudes that are detrimental in the pageant world.

In the end, 2-year-old Marleigh only got 2nd runner up. There were only three contestants in her age group.

And Story beat out Kayleigh for the crown in their age division.

OR DID SHE?


There was a mistake with the scoring, so they actually bothered to dethrone a 5-year-old, and hold a re-crowning ceremony that only Kayleigh's family attended.

There was frost on the ground, but a jacket would've covered up her "natural" look.