After examining my own life, I realized that I am plagued with emotional affairs with men. I am usually attracted to men I can't have or to men who are legally unavailable or unavailable because the love men or racially (because, sadly, between my redneck sister and my dad, no one would find the bodies).
Anyway, my good friend I worked with...we worked together for many years and we shared a lot of dislike for our work as well as the need for security that our employment provided. In order to live vicarasiouly through his wife, I would often volunteer to babysit when they needed a night out. I never really cared for his wife but I remained friendly with her because of him. She was never my typical friend and we both knew this...I even told her one time "you were lucky to find him, not many guys out there like him" when I really meant, "you were lucky to catch anyone, especially him..."
So, when she drove him into the nut house because she thought somehow she could do better than him and it sent him into an emotional tailspin, who did reach out to? Me. As soon as I realized that there was no way in hell I wanted to be saddled to emotional wreck with 4 kids, I told him so. It was the end to my first emotional affair with a married man...
My next emotional affair would have to be with my G@Y. My gay replaced any need for a man I might have...he didn't come out until I had known him for 10 years. In the bottom of my heart, I knew he was gay but I dreamed of him not being gay so I didn’t have to look for a man. In the end, people still thought we were married and he became my gay husband. I would still marry him tomorrow if he needed health insurance or I needed to leave someone money tax free. When we had a fight once, and didn’t speak for 10 months, it felt like I went through a divorce. I was depressed and heartbroken over this...and then he moved. I felt like we broke up all over again. I still have an emotional attachment to him because my friendship for all of these years.
My newest emotional affair is with my friend’s husband. I only knew who he *was* in high school and I know in never spoke to him...not once in high school. I had known his wife since we were 12. At the reunion, I went alone, so latched on to them. We became friendly and he introduced me to the *ungettable* guy from Jr.High. It was exciting to be friends with them because they were happily married and were a lot of fun to party with...then, the inevitable happened. The husband asked me if I wanted to join in their foursome and become a 5th...not a 5th of whiskey…a 5th party in their foursome with another couple! I wonder when they pick up my bar tab or my dinner, if I am on a date? hum...