Saturday, October 4, 2008

Oktoberfest '07

Since it is close to Oktoberfest time, I felt it was the *right time* to remember this incident...
Last year, I was invited to go to Oktoberfest with my friends in Tulsa. I ran into people I hadn’t seen in a 100 years or so. I was pumped because I was drinking beer, doing the chicken dance, and enjoying a cool evening with my friends.
When one drinks, beer especially, you have to pee. I left my friend Daniel at the tables to go in search of the port potties. I spot a super short line and needing to pee, I don’t care. I hover anyway, so, anything on the toilet, is irrelevelant. I don’t like to drag anything out on my boots but you know….sometimes that happens.
ANYWAY, it is my turn. Yes, the shortest line does work! :)
So, I run up to the unpleasant porta pottie. As I am exiting, this woman goes “Way to cut off a pregnant woman.” I look around and see no pregnant woman. After a few pitchers of beer with Daniel, I decide I need to ask her what she is talking about. I approach this woman who doesn’t come up to my shoulder. I go “Are you talking to me?” Thinking she must be an idiot to talk shit to me.
She says “you cut off a pregnant woman”
I say “why would a pregnant woman BE at the Oktoberfest? It was my turn” and I turn to walk away.
This woman shouts out “Well, at least I am married.”
Thinking to myself, I wonder what is *relevant* about being married to the porta potties. I walk up to this woman and point to the man next to her, “Is this your husband? “
She nods her head “Yes”.
I say, “Well, you couldn’t pay me to fuck your husband.”
The crowd surrounding us goes “ooohhhh” as I walk away.
FUCK that married bitch and her superior attitude about being married. Why did it matter that she was married and I wasn’t...one of life’s questions to ponder...

At least I got the last word for the 1st time in my life!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

In the community I come from, people don't ask what you've done with your life as an adult. They ask if you're married because it somehow equates success in their minds.

If anyone asks I just tell everyone I got out of rehab, and "you know what they say! Third time's a charm!" and they never ask again.

Freya said...

I don't have to worry. People naturally assume I'm successful and well adjusted because I'm married with children. I don’t see stumbling into marriage at 18 as a status symbol. Weirdos.