Cold Fish, Part 3

There is a discussion going as a result of the article about women being attracted to other women. Even hetero women, it seems, have a touch of the gay. These bloggers are discussing the possibility that patriarchal depictions of women are leading other women to be attracted to their own. One blogger states that women have become a symbol of sex. In research, such as our cold fish survey in part 1, women have described being attracted to the female form in pornography, but finding the male form has no impact. In advertising, the sexualized woman is to be found more often than the sexualized male. This is making people wonder—is the fact that media is hetero male-oriented making women entertain sexual thoughts about other women?

Dan Savage, our favorite sex advice columnist describes female sexuality as very fluid. Despite the bitching of his critics, he claims that a large portion of females that claim a “bisexual” designation go on to have long term heterosexual relationships or eventually get married--to a man.

General levels of acceptance for homosexuality are rising, so it stands to reason that women feeling some Sapphic urges would be more comfortable expressing those urges. In a time when “I Kissed a Girl” is a top 40 hit, the idea of being just a little gay is trendy. There’s also the consideration that men find the idea of two women being together to be sexy. This all gives a woman, albeit a shallow one, a lot of reasons to consider short-term bisexuality. Not only does it give a thrill because of the taboo nature of the activity, but it also gives a thrill to the object of such women’s desires—men.

This is not to say that bisexuality in women is a myth. Described above is say, bisexuality light, the “just a phase” kind of bisexuality. There are plenty of women who are truly bisexual and enjoy the benefits of having both men and women in their beds and hearts. But true bisexuality doesn’t explain the phenomenon of straight-identified women who are reportedly finding images of women to be more sexually arousing than those of men.

It seems pretty simple, really. Women are marketed. We are the sexy but (usually ineffectual) part of the superhero team, the sexy purveyors of products, the sexy focus of pornography. Very rarely are men sexualized in this way in mainstream media. Some beautiful men sell cologne, but most of the time we see an average male surrounded by beautiful women as a result of his amazing smell. (Thanks, Axe). The men in ads are complete idiots who can’t do anything, relying on the woman of the house to make everything work. I can see why this isn’t turning the women on.

Pornography is a whole issue of its own—the male participants are chosen by certain body parts, with the misguided thinking that if it’s big enough, that’s all that matters. In straight porn, the female audience is expected to be as impressed with the equipment as the men are, and completely ignore the fact that the actor is either completely unattractive or just a prop to fulfill a male fantasy of going through the same old tired motions with an attractive woman. Men are strange creatures, desiring to live vicariously through men chosen to make them feel inferior and give them hope at the same time. I’m not surprised that the token men in these films aren’t grabbing a woman’s attention.

Once women grab creative control of some of these situations, then we’ll start to rediscover the male as a sex object.