Epiphany

I finally figured it out. I can’t seem to catch a break in anything. Since I’ve moved here, it’s been pretty much bad all over. When I seem to be at my lowest point, something inevitably takes me lower. I can’t find a good job, I’m getting divorced, I have no money or prospects. But today, I know why.

In my company inbox this morning, I got a smartly designed powerpoint that explained to me that a Chinese proverb from the Netherlands sent by a South American Missionary could change my life (yeah, I don’t know). The proverbs advised that I could buy a lot of things, a house, a bed, or sex, but I couldn’t buy a home, sleep, or love. There were more examples, but these were the best.

The multi-national powerpoint then advised me that if I sent it on to 20 people, then I would be rich! Forget the fact that money can’t buy everything, as stated in the prior section of the power point, I could be Rich! If that weren’t incentive enough, there was a dire warning. If you don’t forward, then you will have bad luck. You’ll lose your job and your kids will get sick, but don’t worry, you can still redeem yourself by sending on 20 copies, and then you’ll be rich with healthy kids.

That was the moment I realized. I delete every one of those kinds of chains without a thought, except for perhaps cursing the person who sent me the crap in the first place. If I had just forwarded one on, I would be rich and successful and thin and probably the happiest person in the world. What a fool I’ve been.