Happy Talk Like A Pirate Day!

In honor of talk like a pirate day, I've written a seafaring tale featuring four fearless, lusty lady pirates and their lovely assistant BP

Captain Mary Bonney--Cotton Candy

Iron Morgan Roberts --Loramae

Dirty Charity Bonney--Chutah

Iron Tom Kidd--BP

Mad Bess Bonney--Me

It had been another disappointin' tide fer Mad Bess Bonney. All tide, pushin' papers around a desk an' lookin' fer a wee excitement. Lucky fer th' lass', Captain Mary Bonney had plans that be beyond excitin'. Captain Mary, clad in a mixture o' pink lace an' black leather, an' th' sexiest boots seen on this side o' th' Mississippi, waited abroadside fer Mad Bess t' be released from th' hellish prison. As Mad Bess emerged, she saw Captain Mary waitin', an' knew thar be an adventure t' be had.

They be meetin' up wi' Iron Morgan Roberts an' Dirty Charity Bonney fer a nighttime raid. Iron Tom Kidd had been drafted t' do th' grunt work fer th' lasses. They met Iron Morgan an' Dirty Charity in th' darkness abroadside a house in a deserted neighborhood. Iron Morgan be beautiful as ever, wi' long flowin' curls, wearin' a sexy yet burglary appropriate black lace tank an' streamlined black britches. Dirty Charity were comfortably dressed in clothes that accentuated th' lass' lithe body--a dark grey tank covered wi' a black sweater an' deep plum yoga britches. They be both excited, one good eye twinklin', ready fer action.

They sailed' around th' aft o' th' house, 'ere they found Iron Tom waitin' wi' long sufferin' patience. He be outwardly calm, but t' them that knew th' lad's well, thar be jus' a touch o' expression that found th' whole endeavor annoyin', amusin', an' dangerous all at th' same time. Only th' pull o' this many gorgeous lasses would make th' lad's take part in somethin' like this.

In low voices, they sailed' o'er th' plan. Iron Morgan an' Captain Bonney positioned they's self at th' aft door, ready t' strike in case th' plan sailed' awry. Dirty Charity an' Mad Bess crept along th' aft o' th' house wi' Mad Tom, lookin' fer revenge. An' they found 't. 't be a planter, about medium sized, an' a deep blue. 't be beautiful. Dirty Charity fell t' th' lass' knees an' wept t' be seein' 't. "Me baby," she spake, "we`ll nerebe apart again." Mad Bess pulled th' lass' from th' planter, an' instructed Iron Tom t' carry th' heavy pot away t' th' aft o' Captain Mary`s car.

As we made our way ou' o' th' aft yard, th' evil landlady appeared. Quick as a shot, Iron Morgan held a gun t' th' bitches' aft while Captain Mary taunted th' bitch'. Fer the'r amusement, they made th' lass' t' th' chicken dance, while they all laughed an' pointed. They tied th' bitch' t' th' bitchs' fore porch post, an' then called th' police t' report a crazy bitch performin' an outlandish autoerotic bondage display in th' bitchs' fore yard.

They yelled in triumph as they drove off wi' th' recovered loot, feelin' vindicated an' hearin' th' sirens approachin' in th' distance. They immediately began plans fer the'r next adventure fer th' good o' vixens everywhere.