In the Interest of Science

I was talking with a friend the other day. See, I’m like a sailor on shore leave after six months at sea, most of the time. Life is like a banquet (as Auntie Mame says) and I'm one of the poor bastards starving to death. He said that a woman could join in on the banquet at any time. All she needs to do is stride boldly in to the banquet hall, and let people know she is hungry. The men will run to her, anxious to satisfy her needs.

I think the idea is laughable.

I don't believe that a woman's chances for getting sex are better than a man's. Here's the scenario: say I'm looking for someone in my office to satisfy my carnal desires. Do I have a better chance of finding a willing partner than the guy that sits two cubes down?

Men generally say, 'yes, women have better chances,' and since generally the women who are looking for sex are looking for men, it would stand to reason that it does mean a woman can have it whenever. But if this were true, women would never experience a dry spell. You could just put a sign up in your cubicle, "seeking a lover, apply within." I think it is much more complicated. Men think the pool of available women is smaller than that of interested men, and thus, statistically the chances are much better.

Women know otherwise. We've all gone without, and not by our own choosing. To suggest that a man will say yes just because the person offering has the correct set of genitalia has got to be false. Men select sex partners on the same standards, they want attractive partners, even if it is just a quick fuck. Plus, there are people who are in committed relationships who actually either respect (or fear) their partner.

So how do we test this theory? A social experiment in which we deploy the Vixens in various environments and gather statistical data on their success? It is a problematic idea to say the least, approaching strange men and asking for sex, especially if you don’t plan to follow through with each one that says yes. A survey perhaps? "Would you have sex with me? a) absolutely, b) perhaps c) never d) how much have I had to drink?" And then we would have to have a complementary team of men performing the same study.

What say you Vixens? Can we get it any time we want? What scientific principles would guide the study?