I need to know the theory behind the attitudes of the cashiers at Starbucks. I’m in the drive through this morning, I need coffee desperately. The window girl chirps something at me, and I nod, anyone who knows me knows that I’m not awake yet. She tells me it will be just a minute, in her most bright and chipper voice, and then proceeds to ask me how I’m doing. I’m not a morning person, I want to glare at her and tell her that I don’t like small talk at the best of times, and seven in the morning is not my best time. Instead, I humor her, it’s her job. Then she asks me how my morning is going, to which I reply “blehh.” (not awake) Then how my weekends was, which was “fine.” (the coffee fumes must have been working, I was regaining speech) Then she says she doesn’t know any jokes and wants me to tell her some. The look I gave her must have told her that I don’t know any jokes at seven in the morning, at least none that don’t involve angry mobs and Starbucks Baristas.
Seriously, a company whose stock and trade is people who aren’t yet awake, why in the world would they ask these people to torture us so? Please, quietly hand over the coffee and back away.
Subscribe To Pop Culture Vixens
Posts
Comments
Vixen Roll Call
 |
Freya is a cubical farm hand with a heart of gold. In past lives, she has been a tiger, a cowboy, and a cavalier. She continually works to improve her karma so that in her next reincarnation, she'll be something better, hopefully HedonismBot. Read about my subconscious mind here. |
 |
Cotton Candy is pink reincarnated. She has a sparkling sense of humor and hopes to one day save the world without putting any effort into it. She loves animals and pretty shoes. |
 |
Chutah is a network of specialized nerve cells that conduct impulses from or to areas of the universe to the brain and spinal cord, and within a large system of stars. She is composed of neurons and other specialized cells, like eternal night cells and neuroglia, that aid in the function of existential awareness. Chutah is interconnected in metaphysical arrangements and uses cosmic signals to transmit impulses between beings, she responds to a great variety of beauty and forms neural circuits that regulate her perception and behavior. She is found in many celestial objects but differs greatly in complexity between consciousnesses. |
 |
Loramae "She will always be a wildcat" Hale enjoys crunchy tacos, a six pack of ice cold beer, wearing diamonds and riding cowgirl in leopard print... |
 |
Blog Pimp, extraordinaire. Born into a world he couldn't control, raised by rednecks, and trained by imaginary tennis ninjas, Blog Pimp continues to fight the good fight for Vixens everywhere. |
2 comments:
This made me LOL, as they say! So true. I'm a raging bitch in the mornings. Until about nine:thirty am, I want to chase everyone I see through a forest with a chainsaw.
Yeah, it’s pretty much an epidemic. My friend who manages a Starbucks totally has this problem. Like you, she is soft spoken, sensible, calm. But while she was doing her Manager training she was under a manager much like the Barista you described. He was often very disappointed she was not more like him. It seems that Starbucks is out to have a staff made entirely of Tigers – bouncy, bouncy, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun! I’m not sure what this has to do with customer service or good coffee but it is annoying.
Too bad you hadn’t had any sleep or you could have told her this joke:
Why can’t scientist map the human Genome? (which they have) Because their microniscopes (I just made that up) still have a missing link. (this was all utter nonsense.) And then when she doesn’t laugh you can say some something like “not much into Physics eh?” (Nothing to do with Physics.) OMG! That is sooooo freakin’ hysterical! I crack myself up!!! Wait, what were we talking about again?
Post a Comment