Crazy Married Guy @ Work...

I am doing my regular Tuesday morning rituals - getting my metrics together for the day, recording my work-outs in online to get points, my sugar-free/caffeine-free International Coffee Vanilla Crème - when I get a random e-mail from a co-worker.

Now, I have known him for 8 years at work. We have done some things socially together with his family, hung out a little after work at a retirement party here and there, gossiped about stupid managers and co-workers, lunch in the cafeteria, etc. - your average run of normal work friend stuff. I was friendly enough with his wife to go to Tupperware party or baby shower at their house. Now they are getting a divorce...so, obviously, I think she is dumb for doing this...especially with 4 kids under 7. I can’t help you guys shared everything and you know he has had a crush on me for the last 8 years.

Friend: "Heard Kathy (the wife) called you?"

Me: "Um, your wife? No, I don’t know the last time I talked to her. Why?"

Friend: "I was out of town on Saturday night visiting a *girlfriend* in Hugo and she got
worried about me, so she called you."

Me: "Funny, she can go out of town to visit someone but you can't.

She assumed wrong. If she calls me looking for you, she won't forget the ass-chewing I give her. I am as mean as a snake when I want to be and will make her cry. I grew up on the wrong side of town and her crazy ass deserves what I dish out. She is a crazy bitch."

The moral of the story: don't mess around with married men. Maybe I am the dummy in all of this for being his work friend and going to lunch with him in the cafeteria but for her to assume that I want her husband...if I wanted him, I would have had him 8 years ago.

End of story.

Now, I am not sure I even want to be his friend.